We Are…Resilient



  • able to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens
  • able to return to an original shape after being pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

A year ago today I was getting ready to fly down to Florida to see my grandmother as we just got some good news that things were starting to look better after a long/hard surgery.

A year ago today I felt like if I could just be with her – I could give her some of my strength and love – and that would be enough to get her through all of this.

A year ago tonight was the first night my mother was able to sleep and not worry about getting “that phone call” in the middle of the night.

A year ago tomorrow – I got “the phone call” that I never wanted to get. I was very close with my grandmother and I could not imagine not talking to her or seeing her ever again. I was absolutely crushed.

The last year has been long and some days have definitely been harder than others and I still miss her every single day. Not being able to share with her everything that is going on in my life/the kids’ lives has been hard – but then small things happen – that make me feel like the luckiest person alive.

My grandmother loved raspberries. Soon after we got back from the funeral – we bought a few raspberry bushes and planted them in the back yard. Every time I ate one from the bushes – I thought of her and it made me smile.

My grandmother was also an amazing cook. I absolutely loved her homemade noodles and blackberry pie. Over the past year I have made both of those a number of times and it makes me so happy that I have her recipes, in her handwriting. Whenever I make them – it makes me feel close to her. It also gives me great joy to see my kids enjoying them just as I did.

Not only an amazing cook – she was also a world class card player and my euchre partner at our annual family reunion. After she died, I did not know how I would ever play again – but I did this past July. Ken and I took home the trophy – which is such an honor in our family.

About two weeks ago I picked up my 3 year old twins at pre-school and while walking back to the car I squeezed his hand…and a few seconds, he squeezed mine back. While I did not realize it as I did it first – it was something she used to do with me when I was little. I almost cried at first – but then I ended up smiling.

These little things give me great comfort. I know her memory will live on and even though I know there are others with me that were not sure how we would go on – we did…and together we are resilient.

I miss you Gaga!

4 thoughts on “We Are…Resilient”

  1. Mom

    That is beautiful, Jen! This has been a very tough year, but I get strength every day from her to get me through. I took a fruit bouquet down to the SICU this afternoon to thank them for all the loving care they gave her and it was so comforting to see everyone and get lots of hugs from them, too. The one nurse actually knew that tomorrow is the one year anniversary because she has it written on her calendar! Gaga made such an impression on so many people that we never realized and we were so fortunate to have her love for so many years. She will always be in our hearts! I miss her so much!

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